I often find myself having opinions that are different from other people's about some people in my life. I learned that there is no use in arguing. Everybody knows we teach other people differently, based on numerous factors. But what some people neglect is the fact that others also treat you differently because of who you are. When you are, in any way/shape/form, different from other members in your community, you are bound to be treated differently by some people. For most of my life I am the only immigrant, the only gay man, the youngest person, and/or the only non-white person in the community I'm in. This subjects me to various degrees of treatments that others, more "normal" members are exempt from.

There is this tendency for people to teach, judge, patronize others they find inferior. But how can we assume anybody is inferior if we don't let them talk and hear them speak. I find that a lot of people, myself included, feel the need to act like we have wisdom to offer, like we have meditated opinions about something to add to the conversation. Perhaps we do it because we want to appear smart, or we want to be a part of the conversation, which we think will lead us to being a part of the community. We don't recognize these things in ourselves--if we did we would probably never do such a thing--but it is easy to see this in others. Nobody can pretend to be smart. Even smart people sometimes seem stupid. When we try to be smart, we completely expose our stupidity to the world. It's sad to see, and frightening to think that there might be time when you are in the exact position.

I know people who get so excited in what they have to say they don't realize that they're saying what other people in the circle had just said merely seconds before. They get so excited that they have this knowledge, and they think they're the only one that has it, so that have to dole it out and be the wise guy. I also know people who are such good listeners they take everything in and don't say anything throughout the conversation unless pressed to do so. I find a lot of people's voices beautiful, but the act of listening much more beautiful. When the speaker is somebody I truly respect, it isn't hard for me to focus on what they have to say--I have people in my life whose every word I hang on to. But I think to be a good listener you can't be selective. Like I said earlier, you don't know the value of the person until you hear what they have to say. I have often been surprised by the wisdom offered to me by people from whom I never expect to hear such wise words. It is an eye-opening experience as well as a humbling one.

Note to self: Be a better listener; talk less; respect more.