The title of this entry is taken from this:
(Although the content has nothing to do with the song.)
READ THIS WHEN FEEL FAT:
I'm going on a diet, and before you all tell me how not-fat I am, let me tell you why.
When I'm having fun, hanging out with friends, partying, I eat and drink whatever. I'll eat a whole basket of tater tots and have three drinks, no problem. I'll eat and drink as a celebratory act. However, lately I've been eating and drinking excessively, and not for good reasons. I've been doing it as a self-destructive act. I've been feeling down and for some reason doing bad things to myself makes me feel better, but only for a minute. I think people do stuff like that to themselves because they're narcissistic: "Oh look at me, I'm so depressed and nobody cares, and since everybody is hurting me I should hurt myself too, so I can continue to feel sad and make everything about me me me." I am guilty of that and I know it.
Basically, my new diet is not about not eating fattening food, but about not eating for the wrong reasons. It's about not snacking just to forget my problems, not drinking just to consume poison. I will also try to eat healthier food, like whole wheat pasta, brown rice, and vegetables, because by eating it I know that I'm being kind to and taking care of myself.
So don't expect me to be any thinner. Instead, you might see a happier version of me.
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